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Initiate small talk and pay attention to her responses. Extra interest in what you say, laughing at simple jokes and responding back to you with excitement are signs of interest.

As Peter Pearson , a psychologist specializing in couples therapy, puts it, dating a coworker is like “walking through a minefield with big clown shoes.” Why? Because so often we jump freely and willingly into a relationship without considering all the consequences. Sound familiar? I thought so. This can be especially hard if this person is a superior or someone with whom we work closely or regularly.

“If the focus of your desires is in your line of authority, such as your boss or your subordinate, you’re on very risky ground,” says Jerry Talley , a former Stanford professor and therapist. “People can lose jobs and get sued. Best to keep your feelings to yourself.”

Mixing work and play, and not keeping the separation between our individual lives and our dating lives that we’re used to, can pose relationship-ending dangers at the best of times. It’s obviously worse if you’re interested in someone with whom you work on a daily or regular basis. But even if they are in a separate department or on a different floor, making sure you’re not bringing your relationship with you to work each day adds even more stress. So you have to decide: Is all the fuss and bother worth it to you?

“If the person is a coworker, are you prepared to have them as an ex-lover, working on projects, sitting in meetings?,” Talley mentions.

Well, think about it. Are you?

With this approach, you run (almost) no chances. Until you’re sure that you get positive signs from her, you keep it very fun and friendly.


Dating a girl you work with

Dating a girl you work with